This is a question I ask myself all of the time. And I'd like to know what other people think.

I don't know if it's possible.  I think you can open your heart to love another, but no matter what has been done to you, it's nearly impossible to push someone else out.  That is, of course, assuming that you do love them.

There are some that will say that, in order to be in love with someone, they have to love you back.  Otherwise, it's just a crush.  I'd like to call bullshit on that.

Think about your life, your heart, and the people who have wandered through it, whether they knew it or not.  If you're in a relationship now, is there someone you would drop them for in a heartbeat?  Without thinking?  Without worrying about the consequences?

I could create a list of women I know I still love, no matter how hard I try to fight it.  Maybe they're married.  Maybe they have kids.  Maybe it's been years since we've really spent any time together.  We're talking high school here, people.  But, there is at least one that I would do almost anything for.  I'm scared to think of what I would sacrifice for just a kiss.

Is it just a case of, "the grass is always greener?"  Possibly.  It does seem that we always want what we can't have.

One of my biggest lifetime regrets is leaving a date with someone I had some real potential with to go spend the night with a woman I just couldn't get over.  I don't think that date knew where I went, but she suspected.  She knew I wasn't over it.  And even though I honestly connected intellectually with this girl...  I just couldn't get over it.  One text message, and it was ruined.

I couldn't resist.  Her lips searching for mine. Her eyes closed.  The way my hands felt on her hips.  The way it seemed her body melded into mine as she leaned in for a kiss.  She couldn't kiss me without being plastered against me, and I never wanted to feel her pull away.  Never in my life have I been happy to just hug someone for twenty minutes.  Not before, and not since.

Going back in time, to the one I loved from high school into college, we spent a lot of time together.  I loved her more than I would ever admit.  Still do, really.  I have a hard time spending time with her now because she's in an unhappy marriage with two kids.  After all the time we spent together, she picked this loser who can't even support her.  I think, "she can do so much better."  But, better is relative.

With her, I've always had to sit on the sidelines.  Yes, I told her how I felt, but she wanted to preserve the friendship.  We all know what that means.

But damn.  I'll never forget one night when she laid down on the couch, and for the length of a movie, I just sat and ran my fingers through her hair.  I didn't even care if it made her think of anything more with me.  It was heaven for me to touch her.  And at this moment, I'd give most anything just to hold her.

I carry these loves, these aches, these burdens in my heart, along with some others.  I constantly hide how I feel.  I always have.  it's a huge risk to fall in love with someone.  The sad truth is you have no control over it.  I have no control, anyway.  I have fallen in love like it's going out of style.  My heart is always on the line.  And, the few times it's been accepted, it's been trampled.

Happiness is elusive.  It's possible.  I think it is always possible.  I'm a hopeless optimist.

For anyone who has suffered though this so far, I'd really like to know your thoughts.  Can you ever fall out of love?  Or are we doomed to forever carry the ghosts of those who hold pieces of our hearts?